Over the last two years after the release of Naked Soul, I’ve struggled to find a new vision. I wondered where to take my music from there, what to do, and what even my real message was. I asked myself “Why am I doing this?”, and I couldn’t answer. To go up on stage, and have people clap and tell me how great I am, it started to feel silly.
Over the last 2 years, God shook me. I’ve had to learn some hard lessons, feel heart break, instability, and I wasn’t sure about pretty much anything in my life. But, God was doing something big. I had thought I was on the right path, but my personal life was a disaster. God said, you’re bigger than this….you’re a leader, you’re revolutionary, you’re someone who will teach crowds one day how to find the love of God, and here I was playing small, trying to fit into a music scene I clearly didn’t fit into, trying to please people that didn’t deserve my effort, love, or attention, compromising who I was to appeal to people, and looking for approval on almost everything in my life. I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t play small. I was exhausted, and I was searching for answers where they’re weren’t any. I had LOST myself.
After releasing “See To Believe”, and reflecting on how it made me feel, I got a clear vision for how my music should sound moving forward, and lyrically, what I wanted to express. “See To Believe” was a great, fun song, but IT WASN’T heartfelt. I think people have gotten a GLIMPSE of my heart, and KNOW there’s more, but I have yet to truly show that side of me. See, I am deep. I feel things so deeply, and care for people so much. My relationship with God has always been the only true source of JOY for me, nothing else fills me up. My music wasn’t matching my heart and I wasn’t able to show people a Lauren Lanzaretta that was relatable, that cared for them, and that wanted to ultimately help them and give them hope.
Now, after a lot of trial and error, self-reflection, and time alone, the smoke has cleared and I was able to get my vision back. A clear vision for writing songs so vulnerable that others can’t help but see my raw soul. I want to allow people to come inside, to see the parts of me that I struggle with the most, the pain, the confusion, and also the joy, the DELIVERANCE, and the hope. I was completely emptied, so that God could fill me up again. I was stripped of everything, so that I could actually know myself. And…Not other people’s version of me, but God’s version of me, the loving, kind, strong leader who’s mission is to move the world with a powerful message of hope.
My new 5-song soul/gospel EP is in the works, and features raw and vulnerable songwriting, simpler instrumentation, and a message that comes straight from my heart.
Look for a new documentary coming in September, new music videos and the new album late Fall, if all goes smoothly.
Thanks for your continued support, and I hope my journey can help others to find hope when everything seems like it’s falling apart. I hope that I can help people find peace by staying true to who they are, and not getting lost in other people, in the expectations of the world, or anything else – but instead, to focus on their own special purpose and know that they can make a difference, if they don’t give up.